The market, Salonica

The market, Salonica
The market, Salonica

Sunday 13 October 2013

When Scotland’s independent

There’s a play by Shakespeare, his shortest tragedy, just a brief yarn for those who lack patience, all about quick promotion.  He had to make a living like everyone else.  We have to hold down a job.  Nowadays, to help employees bond, a paintballing session might be arranged.  The boss won’t normally hand out tickets to a play, not this one, anyway. 

In the theatre business, nobody ever refers to it by name.  It’s the Scottish Play.  You must know this already.  There’s a curse.  The witches, I suppose.  You’re dead if you type the word Macbeth.  

Are you still there?

Superstition, like nothing else, makes us careful.  You don’t want to spoil your own chances.  A wily ship’s cook won’t take a sieve on board.  But superstition can kill you, too.  You step off the footpath to avoid a ladder, and get hit by a bus.

However careful we are, the forest eventually catches up with us.  Michael Moore has just been sacked from his post as Scottish Secretary, I mean the Scottish Job.  Alistair Carmichael has got the poison haggis.


What will happen when the Scots are free

·         Glasgow will be officially foreign
·         The land border will make invasion simpler
·         Some unemployed foreign builders will be able to go home on foot
·         Fried Mars bars will become a European delicacy
·         Carol Ann Duffy will lose her job as Poet Laureate
·         Simon Armitage will replace her, so you won't see any difference
·        Andy Murray will still be the closest thing the English have to a tennis champion

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